dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
