did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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