thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
oh god the rape fog is back!
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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