I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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