so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize