i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
