But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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