This dress was meant to end up on your floor
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
