All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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