We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
