you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize