I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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