So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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