So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
