I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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