Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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