remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
