In the future we'll all be gay
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
