She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
