How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
