I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
