I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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