Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
