so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
