Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just found puke in my bra..
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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