the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
