If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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