i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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