her vagine was all disorganized.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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