Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You made out with two different species that night
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
