I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
