so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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