I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She told me I should be a condom model.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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