"it" just moved
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
