i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
