It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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