how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
