nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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