yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
