I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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