dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
