NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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