When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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