Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
