so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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