my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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