I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
