Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
