Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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