Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
