Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
