So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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