Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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