So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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