For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
