Non-Jews are for practice
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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