It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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