There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
