Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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