I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
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