I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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