Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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