you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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